watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
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