we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
