Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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