I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
