Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I think I sprained my soul last night
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
