So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We're too hungover to prance.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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