New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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