Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
