woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
