Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
