Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
