Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
