We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
