Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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