Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
