Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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