Need sex. Gaining weight.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
