Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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