GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
How external is "for external use only"?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize