Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
