My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
