Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
