Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
