I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
home. puking in laundry basket.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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