It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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