Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Randomize
