we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just gift wrapped bread.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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