I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
