well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
a search helicopter?!
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
