The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
