He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
