i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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