He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
