what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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