Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
