I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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