He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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