Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
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