I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
