the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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