Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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