Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
