I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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