rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
