i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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