they need to just BURY HIM!
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize