Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
We need to get me chipped asap
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I am mentally ready for anal.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
