Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
