shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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