I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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