I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
