i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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