spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
