this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
