idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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