hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
