Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
