Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize