New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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