i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
