im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
