I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
they need to just BURY HIM!
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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