it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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