He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
