I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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