I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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