She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
