We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
