ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
A+ Viking dick
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize