The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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