Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
