I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
