I bet he comes in French.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
