Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize