benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I need moral support for this bender
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
