Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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