i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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