We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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