got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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