listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
