Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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