the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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